Listening Ears

Ep. 3: Thank you Brene Brown...this is me showing up!

Vernae Bezear Season 1 Episode 3

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This is me showing up!  Thank you Brene Brown!

In this episode I discuss:

  • How pushing down and pushing through (toughing it out) didn't get me the results I was looking for.
  • How being vulnerable and uncomfortable helped me to make serious life decisions.

Listen in...

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Vernae:

Hey, everybody, you are tapped into the Listening Ears Podcast with your host, Vernae Bezear. I first heard about Brene Brown in 2019. Everybody spoke about how transformative she was and how she helped them to be more courageous and allowed them to step into themselves. I mean, yeah, she was good. I mean, I watched her Ted specials, her TEDx, Ted Talk specials. I saw the Call To Courage special on Netflix a couple of times. I literally thought that me getting up every day and doing this thing, we call"life" was me being daring and courageous. I pushed down all the feelings I had about anxiety and mental health struggles, just to be, I didn't quite understand how it was all taking a toll on my body until December of 2021, When I ha d a panic attack and a mental break at work, this was panic attack number______. I lost count."The Spell' the spell I'm going to call it, didn't feel like the other panic attacks that I've had across the years or over the years. I should say. Thinking that I am thi s courageous person, but not being so courageous because I, I didn't wanna be uncomfortable. So I spent Many years just pushing emotions down at work at home. I was a robot-an automaton,(wash, rinse, dry, repeat. Getting through the years of mental cracks and in the last six months of all o ut warfare inside my entire body, I have to express gratitude for this journey. It's been l ike no other, I have no idea where it's heading. I have some things t hat I would like to happen, but I'm also okay with whatever happens because, because I'm just, I'm in it. I'm showing up! I've struggled with anxiety, depression, post traumatic stress disorder for quite some time, and I cloaked it in efficiency, confidence, and being, and being a strong black woman. I never gave myself breaks, allowed myself to be too vulnerable or sit too long in or with something. That would be a n absolute sign of weakness. And I was far from being weak. So I pushed through, I passed out. I forgot important tasks. I slacked off I, people pleased. I pushed through. I forgot to eat. I almost forgot to buy Christmas presents for my children(If it wasn't for Amazon), I pushed through, got sick, got very sick, bu t p ushed through. So I say all that to say, thank you, Brene Brown, Thank-you to everything that went on in my life since 2019. I thank myself for finally daring greatly and just being me. My name is Verne Bezear. I'm an author, wife, mom, educator, coach, and now podcaster. I am being vulnerable, remembering who I am. My purpose. I am definitely listening to myself now. Will you listen with me?

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