Vernae 0:00

Hey everybody, you are tapped into the listening ears podcast with me, your host Verae Bezear. When I first started these podcasts, it was a way of me daring, greatly. I mentioned in episode three, thank you. Brene brown, that this was me putting myself out there being vulnerable and being, being daring and just doing the things that I wanted to do. But at the same time I was being dishonest. And if we go back to my last podcast where I talked about honesty and ways of being honest with ourselves, I believe number one, or number two was the self talk , right? Just being hyper aware of the way one talks to themselves. So I wasn't daring greatly, really. I mean, I'm doing the podcasts, right. But I didn't want to listen to them. I didn't want to edit them and hear my voice. I didn't know why it was almost as if I was ashamed or afraid to hear myself because hearing it right, hearing it is like, it, it makes it , it makes it real. And just like my negative self talk , I would say things like, get it together. The hell's wrong with you . Let's go. And I would critique myself in , in such a way, like, What is wrong with you? Why, why would you say it like that? Get yourself together? Always. So me not listening to the podcasts and listening to my voice and being in it was another way of being dishonest. And also in essence, being self sabotaging . When I did listen to myself, which was about episode three ish, I didn't have one encouraging word. I didn't have anything good to say. And it made me think about who I had been showing up as, right. I was this task master and also supervisor at the same time, a task master barking out orders and degrading me and <affirmative>. And why would you do a podcast? Why would you put your your personal things out there? Uh , no wonder you didn't wanna hear yourself, but it's like, that's what I wanted to do. So it's all good. And then my supervisor, right? That supervisor part of me watching over me and maybe micromanaging me or always telling me what I need to improve on or how I should have handled something, not being true to myself, handling myself with grace and love and patience. And that's the part of daring greatly and being in it, that for me was uncomfortable.

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Up until A few podcasts ago. So it makes me it , I guess it also shines a light on all of it, right? Being vulnerable, being daring, being honest, being intentional, all of it leads to a life worth living. And it's a process. It's a journey. There are ups and downs. There are well, there haven't been any breaks. Thank God, no breaks, but lots of ups and downs and twists and turns. But I'm here for all of it because I know that my life on the other side of this is the life that I've asked for. I've dreamed of And deserve, Do you struggle with hearing yourself or watching yourself? Do you think that you are daring greatly and you are all in, but maybe you're not ask yourself. Why have that tough conversation with yourself and listen to your feelings? If anything I've said in this episode's podcast resonated with you, or if you want to comment, please send me a message at Vernae@listeningearspodcast.com, or you can hit me up on all social media platforms , yeah. Signing off till next time. Bye.