Vernae 0:00

Thank you for tapping in once again, to listening ears podcast with me, your host Vernae Bezear I've been talking a lot about the relationship that one has with themselves. I've mentioned in past podcasts about finding joy and how to show up for yourself and how to be happy. But today I want to talk about relationships you have with others. I believe that the most important part of any relationship is being able to express your, your wants, your needs and your desires as women strictly as women . I would say that at times we assume that because we are passive aggressive, you know, slamming the dishwasher or pots and pans, or struggling to get, a bag of garbage out of the trash. Can we, you know, we assume that because we're doing all of that and that , um, somebody understands what, what we're trying to say without saying it, you know, I thought about how sometimes, you know, you watch those shows and you see the one person goes, oh , I'll pick up the bill for dinner again. And the other friend's like, all right , cool. You know, great, thanks. Thanks for being such a great friend.

2:12

So I think about how, you know, we, as women , we do these things and we, feel that because we make a face or a comment or say something sly, that that means whatever it means. It's really important just to say what it is that you want, say what it is that you want, what you need, what you desire from people. In my experience, I believe or I know that sometimes people just don't hear you. Sometimes people don't want to hear you. And sometimes people think you're referring to someone else other than them. And then other times it's just maybe not the right time. But I believe wholeheartedly that if you don't actually say what it is that you want, or that's bothering you, Then what? So I can hear some people right now saying something like , um, so I'm just supposed to tell people what I expect of them and how I want to be treated. And I'm going to say, yes, absolutely. That's exactly what I'm saying. And what's wrong with that in order for you anybody to be fulfilled, that's what it is. And that's what has to happen. It's really important to let others know what you expect or what it is that you want in my experience. I think it wastes a lot of unnecessary arguments and feelings of resentment or fear, anger, or misplaced emotions.

Vernae 4:58

What's wrong with being upfront? What's wrong with if something is bothering us or if, if something's going great and we want it to continue, what's, what's wrong with being able to say something to somebody, if something is feeling off or doesn't sit right with your soul, why wouldn't you want to say something sometimes a quick chat, like a , Hey, could I talk to you about something I've been thinking of? Or can I run something past you or just simply asking them, Hey, are we good because of whatever... Don't get me wrong. This, this may not work for every situation, but in my experience, it's, it's been working by just being honest and upfront .

6:22

I went back and forth thinking about this. And I said to myself, Vernae, now, you know, you have such a hard time being able to, well, I used to have a hard time being able to say how I was feeling about something, but an option for people who felt kind of the way I was feeling could be to send a text. I mean, real life face to face in person conversations, or maybe even a FaceTime, a real voice, no interruptions that could go a long way. But the first step is being able to identify whatever it is that makes you fulfilled, whatever it is that you want, you deserve your reasons for it, your non-reasonsfor it , the bold request, whatever it is. You may be surprised with what the response may be . If you are not being self-assured and being able to tell somebody, Hey, this is what I want. And this is what I want. This is what I need. This is what I desire. This is what brings me joy. This is how I want to be treated in this life.

Vernae 8:11

If you don't ever say that or say something, the other person will never know. And because they will never know, they can then not be resented or you , you can't necessarily be angry with them or have misplaced emotions. If you never said what it was that you needed, wanted desired. Someone told me once, and I'd never heard this saying , um, until that time a closed mouth doesn't get fed. And I forget that sometimes, but as of late, it it's in my head and it's absolutely absolutely a thousand percent true. And what's the worst somebody can say it could be no, but the best could be whatever it is, your heart's desire. If anything that I've said on today's podcast resonated with you, you can send me a message on all social media platforms. I'm there. You can also send me an email. Let's continue to spread this joy. Spread this love, spread this positive attitudes and show your girl some support . All right . Signing off episode 11 . Bye .